We arrived at my in-laws’ Friday evening with plans to meet up with hubby’s oldest sister, E (he has two – both are older than him) at Cheddar’s. (side note: I love Cheddar’s. We don’t have one in STL but if I were going to open my own franchise, I’d pick Cheddar’s just so I can splurge on their Santa Fe spinach dip on a regular basis. And then invest in copious amounts of stretchy pants.)
So we meet up with E and after dinner, before she leaves, she pulls me aside to tell me that there is trouble in paradise with hubby’s other sister (S) and her husband (R). She didn’t specify what exactly but just said it was bad. Really bad.
Saturday was my FIL’s b-day/4th of July and we typically celebrate by having a party at S’s house because they have the best house for entertaining. They also have a luxurious in-ground pool for all the kids (E has three kids, S has two). So we go over there and of course, speculation was running wild. Did R cheat? Are they having money problems? What could possibly be wrong?
To put it in perspective: Think of a couple that you know that just seems to have everything. The perfect family unit with a beautiful 7 year old girl and cute-as-a-button 4 year old son. They go to Disney World. They go camping at the beach. They have the perfectly decorated house and their own private pond for fishing. Mom works part-time and throws yearly birthday parties with close to 100 attendees. Dad is president of the school board and takes the family to church every Sunday before coming home and watching football with his boy. If there was one couple that I would put money on to make it, it would be them. “Picture perfect” is the only way to describe them. Except they’re not.
R was having an affair…that lasted three years, and would’ve lasted longer had S not caught him. The details are gory and make me want to vomit when I think about it. The places he and his mistress went together, the pictures she found, the text messages, and all the hundreds of thousands of lies he told. He had everyone fooled.
When we found out, everyone was there. All of my in-laws, R’s family, everyone. It was all my husband could do to keep from causing a scene. He wanted to kill him, but he kept his cool because of the kids.
Once we got back to my in-laws’ house, we told my MIL. She was the only one who still didn’t know. Less than an hour later, R showed up at the house with his cousin for the purpose of “asking forgiveness” from my inlaws. Once again it was all my husband could do to restrain himself from going on the attack, and R knew it because that’s why he brought his cousin. Just in case. So he fed us all some sob story about how he got away from God and that he’s so sorry and he wants to work things out and keep his family in tact. None of us bought it and my FIL kept us (meaning my husband) from letting things get too heated in the event S decides to try to work things out. I’m not sure how she could, but he was trying to be smart about it all. Hubz still wishes he would’ve got a few punches in, just for the fun of it.
So that was our 4th of July weekend. I’m not sure what S will do, but there’s talk of her coming to stay with us for a few days to clear her head. My heart just breaks for her and I hate to think of the long road she has ahead with the two kids, regardless of the direction she takes. She’s one of the most beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted women I know and she’s always deserved better than this. I just hope she gets it.
Poor S! I can’t imagine thinking you have it all and finding out one day that it’s all a web of lies. I wish her the best, and am thankful that she has fabulous family members like you and the hubby to help her through.
Oh, that’s just awful! I hope everything works out for S and her kiddos.
Oh, no. That’s terrible. And for it to come out in front of the whole family like that? So sad. I don’t know how you guys could forgive him, but I’ve been in a similar situation and they worked it out…I was mad for a long time but eventually came to the conclusion that if she could forgive him, who am I not to? His actions hurt me and broke my trust, but that’s nothing compared to what he did to her. If she could work through it, then I had to, too. I’m so sorry for your family. I hope things get resolved to the best of everyone’s interests.
OMG that is so horrible. I can’t believe that. Men can be such pigs. This is exactly what happened with my parents when I was 8. It destroyed my mom. Those poor kids.
Damn!
That’s quite a 4th of July. I would be devastated if I caught my husband cheating on me.
Three years??? That’s unforgivable. I’d have a hard time forgiving a one night stand of deep regret and I know for certain a three year affiar is a hell of a lot worse.
I feel so bad for your SIL.
I know we’ve already discussed this in passing, but I’m rather speechless.
Kudos to Hubz for not beating R’s face in.
Big hugs for S and the children. I hope she can find the solace she needs to do some soul searching whether it be at your place or elsewhere.
WOW. I’m sorry, but that’s one of the only things I don’t think I could get past… especially for the amount of time it went on! 3 years? Away from God? More like he got caught and was trying to save the nice life he had. This makes me incredibly sad for your husband and his family – especially his sister and her kids. I hope it all works out the way it’s supposed to.
Ugh, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry your family is going through it :(
[...] then my thoughts turn to my sister in law. What does she think when she hears these things? A big part of me worries that she rationalizes [...]