Tonight after work, I met up with one of my best girlfriends for dinner. She’s shockingly single, despite being beautiful, intelligent, and sweet as can be, but thems the breaks I guess. So whenever we go out, I like to pretend that I’m her “wing man.” Not so much because I think she needs to hook a man right away, but more because I’ve been out of the game for quite some time and well, it’s kind of fun to talk to strange men when you don’t have to worry about ever seeing them again. (Or at least you hope not. I stay away from anyone who looks like a potential stalker. Not that I’m profiling.)
So we go to this brew pub I’ve never been to before and after our meal, as we’re finishing our drinks, two seemingly single guys walk in, sit down at the table behind us, and order drinks. Empty bar + beer + two young women + two young men = lots of exchanged glances. We keep looking at them, they keep looking at us, and it’s only a matter of time before someone says SOMETHING. Until…
The guy in my line of sight does something, well, hilarious. He takes off his jacket and, wearing a short-sleeved shirt, puts his hands behind his head and starts FLEXING! Oh yes. I had to look twice because I just couldn’t believe it. I break out into hysterical laughter and tell my friend who eventually turns to look. More laughing ensues. A minute later, we look again, and his arms are down but his sleeves are pulled up, ABOVE HIS SHOULDERS.
I realize I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, and I’ve never been very good at reading male body language, but this time, I think the message was pretty clear: LADIES, LOOK AT MY ARMS. YOU LIKE? YES? WELL WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW.
I wanted to ask him if that trick ever actually worked, but decided against making real conversation for fear he would interpret it as flirting so we headed home instead. I bet he wears a lot of Ed Hardy too.