Post written Dec. 11.
Now that I’m “out” about being pregnant, I get a lot of questions. And even though I’ve heard a lot of pregnant women complain about the questions – and some of the ridiculousness of them – I’m more than happy to talk about my experience (as if these frequent posts weren’t an indication of that enough).
Right now, the most common questions I’ve received are:
1. Is it a boy or a girl? – This is by far the most common question asked of me, and probably the only one that – at least very early on – sometimes bothered me. I think in those first few weeks that we were “public”, I was just a little shocked that people, even moms, would be told that I was pregnant (no one just figures it out by looking at me, at least not yet) and immediately ask if it’s a boy or a girl. Um, people? I’m not even four months yet. Ask this question when it’s obvious that I’m pregnant because you can’t move around my protruding belly. Until then, it’s pretty safe to assume it’s too early to know the gender.
Now that I’m nearing the 16 week mark and finding out in just a couple of weeks, this question doesn’t bother me so much anymore. In fact, I’m downright giddy about finding out so instead I just reply with a much-too-long response about how and when we’re finding out.
2. Will you find out the gender? – This is almost ALWAYS the question that follows #1. And yes, we’re going to find out. I know lots of people that waited to be surprised at delivery but my personal opinion is it’s still a surprise whether you find out in the ultrasound room or at birth. And frankly, there will be so much going on in the delivery room that I just don’t think my poor little brain can handle it. It just seems like a lot of unnecessary stress that I’d rather not deal with. Also? I REALLY want to know! If only because it could help cut out any future arguments over undecided baby names.
3. How are you feeling? – I ask my other pregnant friends this same question quite often, so I get it. And most of the time I’m happy to answer with whatever I’m feeling at the moment. What I don’t get is when that’s the first question I’m asked by the same person on a daily basis. I appreciate the concern, I just would like them to ask me something else – even if it’s baby related. And if you don’t want to hear that I’m constipated and fighting constant indigestion, then you probably shouldn’t ask.
I’m actually quite surprised that more people don’t ask about names. I don’t really like sharing our ideas for baby names with anyone unless they’re super close to me, so I guess I’m glad I don’t have to have the awkward conversation of “Yes, we have a name but we’re not sharing it.” Right now, this is also made easier by the fact that we don’t have a girl’s name picked out yet. So when people DO ask about names, I can honestly say we don’t know yet.
But all in all, I welcome the questions and the acknowledgement that I’m growing a human. It’s nice to know that other people out there understand the life change we’re about to experience and care enough to ask about it, regardless of how annoying it might be to some people. So bring on the questions! Let’s just keep the belly touching to immediate family and super close friends though, okay? Not that anything like that has happened (yet) but I’ve heard about it, and I’m a little nervous.
Oh you’ll get the name question — no doubt. And then if you’re like me and tell them you have a few different names you’re toying with (even if you already know your favorite), they’ll tell you exactly what they think of each one…and it’s not always good. Now I make Brian handle the name question because he has a thicker skin than I do.
Maybe it’s just me but if you sat there and told me you were going to name your kid “Turnip,” I would probably reply with something like “Well that’s unique! Where did the inspiration come from? Is it a family name?” and not comment further. Regardless of how much I may dislike the vegetable. Especially as a name.
But I’m definitely started to see why people keep the name a secret until it’s already done and over with. Someone will ALWAYS have an opinion on the matter.
It’s too bad not everyone is in PR — then the name reveal would never be an issue!