Archive for December 17th, 2008

It’s only Tuesday and this week has already been rather unpleasant.¬† Allow me to bitch explain.

Let’s start with Monday morning at 6 a.m. when I awoke to massive cramping in my stomach area that I could only attribute to food poisoning. I knew better than to order a sub from Quizno’s just as they were closing but I was hungry and none of the other fast food joints sounded tasty. Now, Quizno’s will never sound tasty again. At least not the location nearest my house.

An hour later, still in pain, I managed to get up, shower and brush my teeth. Afterward, I stood in front of my closet butt ass nekkid with hair in a towel and realized that the actual effort of putting on clothes and make-up was going to be too much for me, so I emailed in sick to work, crawled back in bed, and listened to the Today Show as I wallowed in my own self-pity.

At 3:30 in the afternoon, I was still sick and still in bed, but now instead of just suffering from stomach pain, I had some kind of crazy back pain that forced me out of bed in search of my electric massager (and NO it is NOT a personal massager. It’s a big, giant BACK massager, thankyouverymuch you dirty minded people). So I moved to the couch for the remainder of the evening. And I had popcorn for dinner because it was the only thing I could stomach.

This morning, my stomach was still bothering me, though it was kind enough to stop with the constant stabbing, only coming in intervals of every 15 to 20 minutes. Intervals of pain = healthy enough to go to work. So I did. In 5 degree weather with ice and a thin layer of slush on the ground. Now, if I was the only one on the road at 8 a.m., this wouldn’t be a problem. It also wouldn’t be a problem if my windshield wiper fluid didn’t freeze up on me leaving me with a smeared and clouded piece of glass while driving 55 mph down the highway. Which means I either have to pull over at a gas station and squeegee it clean, or take paper towels and glass cleaner with me every where I go so I can wipe off my windshield in between commutes. In the dark. In 5 degree weather.

Dude, I fucking hate winter.

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