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Yep, I’m totally going there in less than 10 days. If any midgets dwarfslittle people are reading this, I’ll take you with me in my bags but you’ll have to pay the extra baggage check charge, capiche? Hey, I gotta try and save a little money somehow. Didn’t you just hear me say I’m going to Hawaii in 10 days? I kind of blew all my dough. We may be surviving on food stuffs we find at Sam’s Club while we’re in Hawaii (apparently there’s a Wal-Mart AND a Sam’s Club less than a mile from our resort. Score!)
So yeah. Hawaii is beginning to consume my every thought. As in, I think about what I’ll need to pack, but won’t actually do any packing until the night before. (we’re rebels like that. Some call us procrastinators, I say we live on the edge.) I also think about how pasty-pale white I am and how I’m in desperate need of a base tan before we go but then I remember how I swore off tanning beds after I got married since my skin is like a breeding ground for little black and brown moles. And freckles. Then I think about how I was going to get swim-suit ready with daily workouts and a restricted diet but then I remember that my knees started hurting me for the first time ever about 2 1/2 weeks into my new routine and rather than find exercises that weren’t so hard on my knees, I decided sitting and laying down were my best options. Not at the same time though, of course. That’s just crazy talk! Sometimes I would sit. Sometimes I would lay down. But most of all, I just avoided walking, running, jumping, and standing. I also decided that restricted diets weren’t much fun so for dinner last night we had Hamburger Helper and a bottle of merlot. (What? Don’t give me that look! Surely we’re not the only people who drink wine with their out-of-a-box dinner? If you haven’t tried it, you’re definitely missing out. It’s like pairing caviar with moon pies. A delicacy that I believe was started by the Beverly Hillbillies. Or I could be just making that up.)
Anyway, we’re going to Hawaii and frankly that’s all I care to talk about for the next few days. Let’s not discuss my work-trip to North Carolina last week where debauchery had me up until the wee hours of the morning on our last night in town. Or how I had my face licked by a drummer in a teen band. Or how much I love Long Island Iced Teas (yes, that’s “teas” multiple). Or how I ruined my no-smoking streak (I had a good six month run). Or how I came home Saturday morning and slept until dinner time, completely missing our dinner date with Jen and Aaron (thank goodness the date was at their house so we just showed up an hour late. They had no choice. There was nowhere to escape.)
Yeah, let’s not talk about those things. I don’t want any of you to get the wrong impression of me.
P.S. Thank you to all of you who congratulated me on my promotion! I don’t get a raise or a significant change in job responsibilities, but it was still kind of a big deal to me. So thanks!