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Archive for January, 2010

Good News

After two years of traveling for work, my hubby will now be home Monday-Friday (and of course on the weekends too)! No more week-long (sometimes two-weeks long) work trips to keep us apart!

With the exception of about 3 or 4 months over the summer, my husband has been gone every Monday-Friday for close to two years now. I think September was the last time we spent a Monday night together. But after some job negotiating, and lots and lots of waiting, he’s finally managed to get himself back into an office position (which is actually a step backwards in the company, but well worth it).

It’s going to be so nice getting back into a routine of coming home from work, hitting the gym, and eating a home cooked dinner together every night. Sure, I might miss my “Liz Nights” when I would let the dishes pile up a little longer and just eat popcorn and cereal for dinner, but having him home will certainly be better for me. I thrive on routine, and without him, I can easily let myself get off track and feel unmotivated to do anything.

Now I need to go plan my grocery shopping list for this week. Unfortunately popcorn and cereal isn’t hubby’s idea of a healthy dinner. I think he just doesn’t know what he’s missing. We’ll work on that.

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Hallelujah

If you watched the Hope for Haiti telethon on Friday, then you probably saw – and loved – this performance by Justin Timberlake. It’s worth noting that JT is hot as HELL in this video. And I’m not saying that as one of those former teenybopper girls who used to squeal over him during his curly-headed ‘Nsync days. I was more of a Lance Bass fan anyway. (Yes, the gay one. Shutup.) But his voice on this song = heavenly. I even downloaded it and listened to it on repeat at the gym, despite the fact that I already own and listen to the Jeff Buckley version quite frequently. It’s for charity anyway, right? Right.

So for those of you who missed it, or just want to watch it again…and again, here you go:

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I’ve had a bit of writer’s block lately. Between work and working out, I’m all out of mojo by the end of the day. And that’s where bullets come in. YAY! BULLETS!

Thoughts I’ve had or things I’ve said this week:

  • To hubby, while watching Biggest Loser: “Jillian Michaels is like a psychological ninja!”
  • I would rather listen to Miley Cyrus on a 24 hour loop than have to endure another minute of the song “Fireflies”. “I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs”? WTF? Owl City, are you high?
  • Oh no, not the plankjacks! (30 Day Shred, level 2)
  • “Hello officers! Yeah sorry, false alarm. I accidentally hit the panic button on my security system. But, good to know that if this were a REAL emergency, you guys would be here in about 12 minutes flat. It seems like a long time, I know, but really I blame a good five minutes of that to the alarm dispatch guy. I’m sure you’ll make better time next time.”
  • When are these people going to give up on their New Year’s resolutions so I can find a damn parking spot already?
  • I’m with CoCo.
  • Massachusetts, you break my heart.

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Wow, where did this week go? somewhere between work, working out, visiting with friends and family…that’s where. It took about a week, but work is back in full force, occupying the majority of my brain cells. Plus, I managed to work out every single day this week, even fitting in a morning AND evening workout on Thursday. Yeah, I’m badass. Or at least I thought so until the next day when my hip joints started revolting against me. I can already tell that getting old is going to be a major bitch.

I was also given an award by the lovely Angie and somehow managed to miss Delurking Day. (Side note: feel free to pretend today is Delurking Day and humor me by leaving a comment to let me know you’re reading.) But one of the highlights of the week came when we booked our flight for our next vacation. We’ll be spending seven glorious days right here:

And maybe here:

Yes, we’re going back to Hawaii! But this time, we’re going to explore a different island, the island of Kauai. We’re usually not the type of people to go back to places we’ve been before, but last year’s trip to Oahu was so awesome that we wanted to see what the other islands were like. Plus, we recently watched The Perfect Getaway, which takes place on Kauai. We actually watched it twice, in one night, just to admire the scenery.

So technically, we’re still going some place we’ve never been but it’s neither a different country or even a different state. Still, it’s Hawaii people! And Kauai is arguably one of the prettiest places in the WORLD. Before we booked last year’s trip for Oahu, most people recommended just about any other island EXCEPT Oahu. In fact I remember Jeannette strongly recommending Kauai, specifically. But, Oahu had a lot of things we wanted to see, not to mention the best prices, and I have to say I don’t regret that decision for one second. We’ve been on a few beach vacations, but there was no contest that the beaches on Oahu were the prettiest we had ever seen. So if everyone says the beaches get even BETTER on the other islands, well, we’ll just have to see for ourselves and report back. It’s always been a little personal quest for us to find the most beautiful beach in the world. So when I spotted dramatically reduced airline tickets during prime travel season when prices are usually their highest, we didn’t waste much time debating locations or dates or travel times. We just did it.  I now have a bright light at the end of the long, dark, cold winter tunnel. And added motivation to get my butt in shape, because swimsuit season – for me – is just a couple of months away.

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I guess I can officially come out and say it now: I’m dating a college boy.

Okay, so technically, I’m married to a college boy. The hubs has enrolled at a university this semester and I could not be prouder of him for taking on the challenge that awaits. In fact, I applaud anyone who works full-time AND goes to school. I was fortunate enough to only work part-time or during the summers while pursuing my degree so I can’t imagine holding down a job that requires AT LEAST 40 hours (more like 50) and class time. But, we know the only way my husband will be able to advance his career is with a fancy piece of paper so he’s going back to school and working out some schedule changes with his current employer. Changes that involve us seeing a lot more of each other, even if a good majority of that time is spent with him on the computer or with his nose in a text book.

On Saturday, we visited his new school to pick up a couple of books from the campus bookstore and it wasn’t until I saw all the baby-faced freshman that I realized just how intimidating going back to school at 30 years old can really be. But the excitement – at least for me – outweighs any fears. He’s only been a student for about a week and classes haven’t even started yet, but already I wanted to buy sweatshirts and coffee mugs and pretty much anything that had his new school’s logo on it. I really wanted a shirt that had the school’s  name and “wife” on it, like the shirts that say “University of Missouri Mom” or “Missouri Univserity Dad”. Why don’t they make shirts that say “University of Missouri Wife”? Or underwear? I would’ve bought them on the spot.

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A Decade in Review

Oh I know, you’ve probably read several of these on various other blogs by now, but tonight it was either “write a new blog post” or “put away the Christmas tree.” Guess which one I chose? So shut up and help me procrastinate already.

There. That’s better. Now where was I? Oh yes, a decade in review. I’ve seen several of these year-by-year highlights on other blogs and at first I was impressed. I mean, who remembers that much about the last 10 years when I can barely remember what I did 10 days minutes ago. But then last night I had a dream that involved my ex-boyfriend from high school and nothing brings back the memories and reflection like seeing the face of someone you used to suck face with but haven’t seen in 10 years. Or something like that.

So here we go:

2000: Senior year of high school. Worked at a movie theater and LOVED it. Voluntarily would work 14 hour days. Crashed my step-dad’s truck by literally flipping it. Thankful to walk away unharmed, but scared shitless and still somewhat paranoid while driving to this day. Went to prom with aforementioned ex-boyfriend. Stood together for photos, danced one slow dance together and spent the rest of the night dancing with other cute boys. Quit movie theater because pay and hours sucked. Started working at hospital cafeteria with better hours and better pay. Hated it. Broke up with boyfriend and went 4 hours away to college. Shared a dorm room with best friend. Now I know why people tell you not to share a room with your best friend. Take a friendship break but remain best friends.

2001: Gained 15+lbs. Hated college. Wanted new roommate before it completely destroyed our friendship but mostly wanted a new school. And a boyfriend. Dated losers. Spent a lot of time online. Started talking to guy from New York. Last family trip to Washington D.C., Philly, and NYC. Chance meeting with a woman in Burger King brought me 8th row seats to a Bon Jovi concert and discovery of a new career path (public relations). Over summer break, flew guy from New York to St. Louis. Fell in love. First of many trips to NYC to visit the new boyfriend. Went back to school but with a new roommate. She was worse. Best friend becomes best friend again. Planes crash. Flights to/from NYC become more expensive and require hours of prep time to accomodate for long security lines. Go anyway.

2002: Hate school. See boyfriend about every six weeks. Spend summer working at the hospital cafeteria (still). Hate wearing hair nets. Hate getting up at 4:30 am (sick people eat breakfast early, ya know.) Parents move to Memphis. Go back to school. New roommate. Better, but can only tell you her first name was Heather. Can’t remember last name. Yeah, we were THAT close. (And here’s where I wonder if maybe I was the shitty roommate?….Nah.)

2003: Continue visiting boyfriend about every six weeks (or when we can afford plane tickets). Look for internships in NYC. Hired for not one, but TWO internships in NYC. Move in with boyfriend (and his parents). Work both internships and get a part-time job at Victoria’s Secret. Turn 21 and boyfriend’s parents take me to Vegas. Life is good. Go back to Missouri to finish last semester of college (graduating a semester early). Life is not so good, but new roommate is awesome. End to college life is near. Look for jobs. Have offers in NYC. Do not want. Apply for (paid) internship in St. Louis. WANT. Boyfriend does not want. Apply anyway, get offer, and giddily accept. Boyfriend not happy.

2004: Move in with grandparents. Start internship and love it. Start Weight Watchers. Lose 25 lbs. Make new friends. Go out with friends. Meet new (cute) boys. Get hired by company I was interning with. Boyfriend not happy, decides to move to St. Louis. Freak out and dump boyfriend (before he quit his job, thank goodness). Start dating cute new boys (yes, plural). Move in with new friends. Meet cutest boy of all – future hubby. Meet future hubby’s parents at Thanksgiving.

2005: Move in with future hubby. Buy a car. Take a trip to Ft. Lauderdale and officially become Future Mrs. Hubby.  Best friend not happy for me. We fight. A lot. Future hubby starts traveling for work. Am stressed. “Break up” with best friend. Am heartbroken but move on. Tell myself this has happened before and worry about it later. Ask other college friend to become Maid of Honor. Lots of wedding planning. Get promoted. Buy another car.

2006: More wedding planning. Start house hunting. Buy a house and close on it a month before the wedding. Get married. Honeymoon in Riviera Maya. Camera is stolen in Mexico. No honeymoon pictures. devastation. Get a puppy. Get promoted. Decorate house. renovate guest bathroom. Buy furniture. Attempt to pay off debt but only seem to spend lots of money. Go to final game of World Series. Cardinals win. Awesome. It’s later and former friend is still former friend. Not so awesome.

2007: Go to NYC with hubby (he had never been). Go to Cabo San Lucas and Arizona. See Grand Canyon. Go to New Orleans for anniversary. Meet John Stamos. Hubby goes back to school and finishes his Associate’s. Host a Halloween party. Start hanging out with our wild and crazy neighbors. Get promoted. Continue to struggle with friendships but am otherwise happy.

2008: Go to Bahamas and Key West. Go to Denver for anniversary. Tear down old deck and build a new one. Go to NYC for final season in old Yankee stadium. Go on Mediterranean cruise – first time to Europe for either of us. Hate husband’s job.

2009: Go to Hawaii. Finish deck. Get promoted. Go to San Francisco/Napa Valley. Parents move to Kentucky. Visit them in their new house. Spend more time with the neighbors. Renovate guest bathroom (again). Am finally content with friendships but sometimes mourn loss of former friend. Still hate husband’s job.

2010: This year will be…10 years since I graduated high school. Six years at my awesome job. Five years since end of friendship. Four years married and four years in our house with our four-year-old dog. It will also be the year….hubby goes back to school in pursuit of his Bachelor’s. We take a trip to the beach. We take a trip to Europe. A friend has her first baby. And hope for so much more.

Though the first thing on my list should probably be to take down this dang tree.

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If you watch shows on CBS such as Two and a Half Men or The Big Bang Theory, record it and at the end of the show you will see a usually white card for about 2 seconds that has a bunch of words on it. Have you ever paused a show to read those words? Sort of like a medical disclaimer or anything containing tiny print such as contest rules, terms of service, etc., you probably just ignore it. I know I do. Or did, until a few weeks ago when the word “vaginal” caught my eye from one of these white cards. “Did I read that right?” I hit rewind and then pause and this is what I read:

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #270

Jillian had a urinary tract infection… again.

That sentence appeared in my head a few days ago, just as you see it above. I have no idea what it means, other than the obvious, and I don’t know anyone named Jillian. Regardless, I thought it’d be interesting to begin a vanity card with it and just see where it goes.

Jillian had a urinary tract infection… again. Her doctor liked to abbreviate the condition to UTI. She liked to abbreviate it to TMH – Too Much Humping. Regardless, the road back to vaginal happiness was always the same: cranberry juice and abstinence. Thankfully, her boyfriend, Dudley, was always very understanding. He’d just smile, hold her in his arms and say, “Well, babe, when one door closes, another one opens up.” She’d always giggle and blush when he’d say that, but deep down she wished she had the courage to cover his mouth and nose with a chloroform-soaked rag, and then, while he was unconscious, snip off his testicles with the little scissors she uses to groom her schnauzer.

All of which explains why the next sentence popped into my head recently.

Nobody sang Bee Gees songs on karaoke night like Dudley.

<end>

So do you know what this is? It’s a Chuck Lorre Productions Vanity Card. There are more than 200 of them, and they appear after every show produced by Chuck Lorre Productions. Here’s a 10 second video I found on YouTube to show you where to look for these vanity cards. Just hit pause at the 3 second mark.

Now, every time I watch one of those shows, I grab the remote and hit pause so I can read each one. And now you can too! Or, you can just go here and read them for yourself: http://www.chucklorre.com/index.php?p=270

Just a little added entertainment to your…entertainment? Yeah, entertainment.

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