Archive for March 12th, 2010

Soon, I’ll be packing my bags and boarding a plane destined for sand, sun, and ultimate relaxation. Soon, I’ll be walking up with a delicious cup of Kona coffee, snacking on chocolate covered Macadamia nuts, and indulging in fresh, macademia-nut-encrusted mahi-mahi. And soon, I’ll be spending a good portion of the day wearing a swimsuit. My body is nowhere near where I would like it to be, but at least I’m a few pounds lighter than I was last time we were in Hawaii. And since it’s a trip for “just the two of us”, I haven’t completely abolished the idea of something a little more revealing than my standard takini with skirt bottoms. So I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect swimsuit. Something flattering for my body type, something that is boob lifting, tummy flattening, and wedgie resistant. So let’s discuss what I’ve found so far:

I started with Victoria’s Secret, knowing that the overwhelming majority of their swimsuits would be too teeny tiny, but also knowing that they have a great selection of boob-lifting tops. And they did, but the part of my body that I’m most sensitive about is my stomach. It’s not flat. So I wanted something that not only covered it, but wouldn’t show the poochy outline of my belly button. But every swim suit I’ve ever had has been very form-fitting, which I guess is the way swimsuits are supposed to fit, but my belly button pooch always shows! I typically steer clear of patterns and stick with solid colors, but to avoid the belly button pooch, I’ve learned to embrace patterns. Maybe that’s a mistake. I bought a tankini last year and even though it also came in a solid color, I chose the patterned version when I saw the difference with the belly button situation. I’m taking it with me again this year, but a week on the beach requires more than one swimsuit. I also want a bright color. I always stay with a safe black, but I’m thinking maybe a pink or coral color, or something in the green/blue family. I found this:

(image from VictoriasSecret.com)

And though I don’t exactly love the pattern (is it animal print? I can’t tell.), I think it’s pretty close to what I’m looking for, style wise. I also like this one, but in a different pattern maybe:

(image from VictoriasSecret.com)

I’ve always loved halter tops. But the big problem with both of these suits? The bottoms. My hips and thighs are way too big, so I don’t think this cut will work. I thought maybe I could mix it up with a solid matching color boyshort, but Vicki’s doesn’t offer swimsuits with boyshorts anymore. I guess they’re not “in”?

Feeling a bit frustrated and wanting to see different styles on slightly larger women, I check out Lane Bryant. Now, I don’t shop at Lane Bryant, but if I had to pick an underwear model that most resembles myself, it would definitely be a Lane Bryant model before a Victoria’s Secret model. I took a look at their swimsuit bottom selection and tried to pick out which style looked the most slimming.

(image from LaneBryant.com)

It could be the way she’s standing, but personally, I think the boyshort bottoms are the most flattering. The skirts aren’t flattering at all, and the hipsters squeeze the flesh a little too much for my liking. I also really like this ruffled short skirt, especially the color, but for a Lane Bryant site those tummies sure do look flat!

(image from LaneBryant.com)

I’m not crazy about the matching top though. It looks a bit “maternity”.

So that’s where I am in the painful world of swimsuit shopping. So help me, please. Help me make a decision on a swimsuit. And, because I’m having a moment of bravery, I’m going to show you what I actually look like in a swimsuit. It’s a couple of years old, and the photo is crooked, but it’s the only one that doesn’t show my awful posture. Probably because it’s crooked. But this gives you an idea of what I almost always wear.

Black skirt tankini. Probably from Target. It’s safe and comfortable, but not so flattering. And that tattoo on my husband’s arm? That’s a temporary tattoo…of an octopus. Like the kind you wet and rub on. I had hoped it would leave a funny tan mark, but I wasn’t so lucky.

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