Archive for December 16th, 2011

Announcements Galore

I just realized that I never wrote a post about telling the rest of my co-workers. Ooops! Well, here’s the gist. Every Wednesday morning we have a group meeting (there are about 25 of us in my group) and every week, it’s someone else’s turn to bring in morning treats. My supervisor was scheduled to bring in treats on the 30th so I asked if I could swap dates with her to make my special announcement (since she already knew).  I made pink and blue cupcakes and snuck into the room a few minutes early to set them out. Then I went back to my office and arrived a few minutes late as everyone sat around asking “Who brought in these cupcakes? Why are they pink and blue? It looks like a pregnancy announcement!” I sat there quietly, letting this go on for a couple of minutes before I finally spoke up and said “It is a pregnancy announcement. It’s mine!” Then it seemed as if the room erupted into gasps and congratulations. So fun! Oh and here’s a pic of the cupcakes, all packed up and ready to go to the office.


Phew! Finally into Dec. posts now. This one written Dec. 5.

Well, the baby news went Facebook official on Friday. We wanted to wait long enough for a few distant family members to receive our Christmas card announcing our news, but as it turns out, both of our families have big mouths and EVERYONE already knew. So onto FB it went. I absolutely loved seeing all of the comments roll in throughout the day.

On Friday night, we met up with our newly-engaged friends to see the light display at the St. Louis Zoo. We’ve never done that before but I think it might have to become a yearly tradition. The weather was perfect – chilly enough for hot chocolate (which was delicious and quite possibly the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had) but not freeze-your-butt-off cold.  Here are just a couple of not-so-great snapshots.

On Saturday, we drove 2.5 hours to visit my grandparents on my father’s side to tell them our news. Actually, we were there to put up my grandma’s Xmas decorations, but I figured it would also be a good time to tell her our news. I took a batch of pink and blue cupcakes leftover from my office announcement (above), along with our announcement Christmas cards, and made the drive over there. My grandma is almost 90 years old. And, let’s be honest, she’s always been a bit of a pistol. She’s extremely opinionated and has made it very clear that she thinks I should never have kids because, in her mind, they’re an inconvenience that just hold a person back in life. (Did I mention she’s just a regular ball of sunshine? No? Well that’s because she’s not.) Never mind the fact that she has three kids of her own, and that without them, she wouldn’t have grandkids (like yours truly) or really any family at all. But whatever. So there’s a reason she’s the last person to know. She’s pretty much the only person I wasn’t excited to tell. I knew her reaction would be a bit sour, and I was right. Her exact words were, “Oh no. Well…congratulations, I guess.” And that was pretty much it. My grandpa, on the other hand, was really excited for us but I’m pretty sure he forgot that I was even pregnant about 5 minutes after we told him because he never mentioned it again the rest of the visit.  And considering I don’t really look pregnant – just fat – it’s not really all that obvious.

I think the only time my grandma said anything that sounded even remotely like happiness about the news was when she told my father that he was going to be a grandpa. Now, those that really know me know that I have a very strained relationship with my father. I only speak to him if forced to by my grandmother. And vice versa. In fact, I cringe any time I have to refer to him as my father or dad. In short, he was a deadbeat dad. And if it weren’t for my grandmother, I probably wouldn’t have seen or heard from him in at least 15 years. He’s never called, and the only time I remember him writing was when I would send him paper and stamps when he was in prison and he probably felt obligated. Now he’s physically ill with Crohn’s disease, no healthcare, no job, no disability checks (because he pissed off the doctor that was going to qualify him for disability), so he lives off of my grandmother in a trailer that she bought, on property that she owns, and is basically just waiting for her to die and leave him his inheritance. He doesn’t speak unless spoken to, not to anyone, which makes me think his mental handicaps are getting worse. And my grandmother doesn’t help matters because she treats him like he’s five years old. Which, mentally, he probably is. (Hm, now I’m starting to see why she warns me against having kids…)

What’s worse though is that she tries to force a relationship between us. And not because it would benefit me in anyway. Oh no. She’s scared to death that when she dies, there will be no one to take care of  him. And she’s right. But she figures that maybe I will feel some sort of obligation since he’s my father. And I hate to burst her bubble but…I don’t. The only thing he ever gave to me was $1,000 when his grandmother died (he received at least $25,000). He never paid child support, and his birthday gifts to me were things like, get ready for this: a box of shoelaces. I shit you not. A box of fucking shoelaces. And ever since the 90’s, the only thing I’ve ever received from him is a birthday card. That my grandmother paid for and sent. Except for the last two years when my grandmother forgot my birthday and I didn’t receive any cards from either of them.

Anyway, that’s a long winded way of saying that I had to bite my tongue when she told my father that he was going to be a grandpa. As if I’m going to let him near my child. Ever. If he didn’t deserve the title of “dad” then he for damn sure doesn’t deserve the title of “grandpa”. /end rant.

So that trip was a little less than enjoyable but now I can officially say that everyone knows and I can focus on what’s to come in the months ahead.

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