Becoming Shredded

I want to tell you about this new thing I’m trying.

Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I’d read about a few bloggers trying it, saw some Twitter chatter about it, and eventually came across this fabulous site that Kristen started: http://www.motherhooduncensored.net/shred/

The results these women are seeing? Are amazing. Seriously, just click on over there and look at Kristen’s results. DAY-UM, right? So I bought the DVD a couple of weeks ago, tried it one night after work before meeting up with Nora for dinner, and the next day I could barely walk. Who knew that someone who can jog 3 miles on a treadmill would be so affected by a 20 minute work out? I nearly cried out in pain any time I had to walk down stairs or sit down on a toilet seat. And since I’ve been trying to up my water intake, that’s a lot of toilet sitting. I felt like I was 80 years old hobbling around.

Now I’m on Day 8 but still on level one (there are three levels and you do each level for 10 days) and though I haven’t really lost any weight (1-2 lbs), I’m definitely stronger. I did Day 7 last night and this morning? No pain! All good signs.

I took “before” photos, but I don’t have the sack to post them just yet. If I see results like Kristen though, I’ll be sure to show you. I have yet to hear of someone NOT seeing results from this program. I’m also doing Weight Watchers, though I admit rather loosely. I’ll work on that. And I plan to start doing the workout in the morning before work. I’ve been switching it up, mostly because going to bed after 11 decreases the chance that I will willingly get out of bed before 7 by 100%.  I’ll work on that too.

So, anyone else out there doing the shred? Are you seeing results? Do you want to become a sister (or brother) in shreddery? Then join the shredhead movement! And grab this cool button from Kristen’s site.  

And Jillian, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you. But when you say “just a couple more” and proceed to make me do 8 more instead, well then I kind of want to punch you in the face. Just sayin’. Love you though! Really.

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Happenings

I haven’t really talked much about what’s been going on in our lives these last couple of months. So in no particular order, here’s a glimpse into what’s been happening this month:

1. Paid off my car earlier this month – a full 14 months ahead of schedule. I still turn to my husband and say “Guess what? This car we’re driving in right now? Is PAID OFF!” And then giggle to myself while he just shakes his head.

2. We’re going on vacation with another couple in less than two months. Our original plan was to do an all-inclusive in Jamaica, but due to some additional research, we found some pretty stellar deals in Hawaii. So that’s where we’re going. HAWAII!! There will be plenty more posts about this in the coming weeks.

3. I love tax time. I do our taxes every year and though the process is long and sometimes frustrating (like when your software doesn’t work, ahem Turbo Tax) it’s such a relief to finish them. And an even bigger relief to see those refunds popping up in your bank account. Since I do the taxes, the refunds come to my account. I like it that way. :)

4. And because said tax returns come to my account, I can say that I used part of the money to buy my husband a new toy: a power washer. He’s wanted one for a couple of years, but damn those things are expensive. So we went out this weekend and bought one and he’s been playing with it ever since.

5. While he played with his new toy, I took advantage of the wonderful weather and after popping a Claritin, bagged up all the leftover leaves from our side yard. I have about 10 leaf bags crammed full and I haven’t even touched the back yard yet.

6. Speaking of new toys, we also used our tax return to buy a new laptop. It’s an HP and I LOOOOVE it. Neither one of us has ever owned a laptop outside of our work computers, so this was a new experience for us. I’m not quite used to using Windows Vista yet but so far so good.

7. And with our new laptop, we’ve been learning Spanish using Rosetta Stone. Actually, the husband has been learning. I’ve been watching while he goes through Level 1 since he needs much more pratice is the areas of vocabulary and pronunciation than I do.

8. I’m trying a new workout routine. A week or so ago, I bought Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. I haven’t committed to it fully, mostly because after day 1 I could barely walk, but I plan to be more serious about it – for the next 30 days. I did mention Hawaii was less two months away, didn’t I?

9. The spring cleaning bug has bit me and I’m itching to just purge all the junk from my house (most of it crammed in closets and drawers), scrub it all down inside and out, overhaul the backyard with bushes and flowers, and tidy up the front yard. If you’re free for a weekend, come over and help. It’ll be fun.

10. On top of all of this, we’ve also been making efforts to be more social. I’ve met up with my new good buddy Nora a few times, spent some time with my grandparents, hung out with a few of hubby’s friends, and spent one Saturday night hanging out with Jen & Aaron. We also spent the last two Saturday nights hanging out with our neighbors till the wee hours of the morning.  

So all in all, life has been pretty darn good. Hope ya’ll are having a fabulous month too!

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Another sign that I am turning into my mother

When you were a kid, did you ever run off from your parents in a department store and hide under the clothes racks or behind giants stacks of toilet paper on the stock shelves? Man that was fun. Until your mom freaks the fuck out because she can’t find you and thinks child abductors stole  you so she starts running around the store screaming your name in a tone so unnatural you’re scared to come out.

This happened to me a few times. And if  my mom was freaked out enough, once she found me, I usually got a couple of good smacks. And I don’t mean kisses.

I was always so confused by her behavior. Why would my mother, who clearly loves me and is worried about me, smack the crap out of me once she realizes I’m okay? Shouldn’t she be happy? Hugging me and telling me how worried she was? What’s with all the anger? I thought I would need to become a parent to understand this sort of reaction, but I was wrong. I just needed to become a wife with a forgetful husband.

My husband, who is traveling, forgot to call me last night for the first time ever in the history of our marriage. Not a huge deal except that he also forgot to turn his ringer back on after an afternoon meeting yesterday. Put those two things together and you have one stressed out wife who spends her entire night calling/texting/emailing and thinking in detail about all the various scary scenarios that could be keeping her husband from contacting her (a turned off ringer never once entered my mind. I didn’t even think he knew how to do that!) I may or may not have emailed his boss who is on the road with him,  and also a former co-worker asking for boss’ phone number. I may or may not have also called the place that he is staying only to find out that it is not a hotel, but a furnished apartment and therefore they do not have front desk clerks that can go check on your husband’s room at 4:30 a.m.

So here I sit, stewing in anger, exhausted from getting maybe three hours of sleep all night, and knowing that if my husband were here right now, I’d punch him in the gut.

But only because I love him.

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Because everyone needs a good workout mix

Everyone knows that the key to staying motivated during a workout is a solid workout mix. Whether you prefer to rock out to The Killers or Britney Spears, you need good tunes to carry you through those sweat-drenched-feet-on-fire-legs-about-to-give-out-from-under-you workouts. And for the first few weeks, it works. But when you’ve heard the same old songs fifty times in the last six weeks, suddenly that guitar riff in AC/DC’s Thunderstruck doesn’t get your motor running like it used to. In fact you’ve heard it so much you could probably just curl up right there on the treadmill and take a nap to it, with synchronized snoring.

I was at that point in my workouts and thankfully, my good buddy Janet sensed it and came through for me with an awesome get-off-your-ass-and-dance kind of workout CD. I’ve only listened to it once, but plan to put it to good use with my new workout program: Jillian’s 30 Day Shred, which I just started today. I love the workout mix so much and found it so thoughtful of Janet that I would like to pass on the goodness to five lucky readers.

That’s right. The first five commenters willing to share their mailing address with me (I promise I won’t stalk you…too much…) will receive a custom workout CD from me. All I ask is that you tell me your current top five favorite workout songs. (This is so I don’t create a workout CD of songs you might already have. Because that wouldn’t be any fun now would it?)

Ready. Set. Go!

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Just when you think you know someone

I’ve only been to a strip club once in my life. (How’s that for an opening line?)

I don’t believe I conformed to any labels in high school, but then again let’s be honest. Who here confesses to being a huge dork? Or a band geek? Or the kid who got his tighty-whiteys pulled up to his neck and stuffed in a locker? Well I wasn’t any of those, but I was friends with all of them. I was also friends with the stoners, the jocks, the theater kids, and the freaks. I could talk to just about anyone and I had no enemies. I was a straight-laced, straight-A student that never got detention and spent her extra study-hall hours helping out the student counselors. I was a good kid (And ok, maybe I was little dorky too). My best friend, S, was pretty much the same way. Her parents were teachers in the same school district so everyone knew who she was and the teachers made sure to be extra nice. I remember one particular day when she got a B on one of her tests and came to me crying because “OMG a B!” How tragic. I’m pretty sure I told her to suck it up because even I considered that a little extreme.

Long story short, let’s put it this way: If there were ever two girls to be voted “least likely to find at a strip club,” it would be us.

Fast forward about eight years. I’m married, hanging out with friends downtown when the guy whose birthday we were celebrating says that he would like to go to the East side. (For those of you not from STL, East side = strip joints). My husband shot me a sideways glance. In reality I’d always been curious to experience the East side. What happens over there? What do the girls look like? What’s the stage look like? Do they all wear clear platform heels? So many questions that needed to be answered. So we went. And my questions, they were answered. (BTW that whole thing about the girls paying extra special attention to the females that come through the door – totally true. I got for free what my husband probably would’ve had to pay $100 for. Not that I WANTED any of it!) A couple of hours later, we were ready to go home so we paid our bill and headed out the door.

One thing that didn’t cross my mind however was the possibility of seeing someone I knew. I grew up in this city so it’s not uncommon for me to run into people I know from time to time. I wondered if I might see a former cheerleader up on the pole, but the last person I would’ve ever expected was there instead – My friend S. No, she wasn’t on the pole, but she was in the parking lot of a strip joint at 3 am waiting for a friend to park the car. It had been a couple of years since we’d seen each other and this certainly wasn’t the place for any type of reunion, so I turned my head and started to walk the other way but it was too late. We had made eye contact. And then laughter ensued.

We both tried to explain through our tears of laughter that this was our first time here and we don’t normally hang out at strip joints but the laughter just got stronger. A few minutes later my friends were leaving and hers were walking inside so I wiped my eyes, gave her a hug, swore her to absolute secrecy and turned to go. 

A moment later I turned around and called out to her: “Of all the strip joints in all the world, S, you had to walk into mine.”

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Clooney Watch

St. Louis doesn’t see many celebrities. We hang our hat oversized sunglasses on musicians like Nelly and Chuck Berry (which, by the way, I can’t believe I just grouped the two of them in the same sentence), and movie stars like John Goodman and…Brad Pitt? (Hey, he’s from Missouri. Close enough.) If I’m not mistaken – which I definitely could be – the last movie to be filmed here was a movie featuring Jessica Alba called Bill. Didn’t see it? That’s okay, neither did I.

But, the cosemetically-enhanced Hollywood Gods have smiled upon the city once again and brought us Midwestern women one of the finest specimens of the male species: George Clooney. Yep, he’s here, right in my very own city. And the women folk in this city? They are going CAH-RAY-ZEE! Except for me, of course. It’s just George Clooney. It’s not like John Stamos is in town or anything. No need to get all worked up over a small-time, semi-attractive actor like George.

Oh who the hell am I kidding? George has spent the majority of this week filming downtown and I have made more Starbucks runs in the last week than I have in the last two months. All I can say is, he must not be a Starbucks guy. But had I just been in the right place at the right time, I could have been the one claiming ownership of these photos:

(I don’t know who took these photos so the best I can do is attribute them to Mr. or Ms. One Lucky Bitch or Bastard)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Clooney stalking weekend planning to do. And maybe one more Starbucks run, just in case.

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